Baskets gift baskets are practical and popular gifts for baby showers. Although there are ready-made baby gift baskets that are being sold in baby stores, this doesn’t mean that you can’t put together your very own baby basket. Be sure to add the essentials such as several diapers, terry cloths, a bib, burp cloths, baby lotion and baby oil, shower gels and other pampering bath items. Aside from these basics, you might also add some unique baby clothes to make your basket more special. Go green baby clothes are all the rage right now. These clothes are usually made from all-natural materials so they are friendlier toward the environment.

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I just stumbled upon this incredible gift idea – The Diaper Cake!

My wife and I just came back from a baby shower where as the table centerpiece stood this enormous colorful cake which at first glance seemed edible but at a closer look, I realized was made out of diapers!! Amazing!

Baby shower cakes are hugely popular right now when it comes to baby shower gift ideas. If you are planning to shop for personalized baby gifts, then consider purchasing a baby shower cake. A baby shower cake allows you to give the future mommy plenty of baby essentials in one beautiful package. The contents of a baby shower cake varies so be sure to explore your options. Typically, baby shower cakes contain multiple diapers, a stuffed toy and bath essentials for the mommy-to-be (such as lotions and bath salts). Some cakes also include a set of kids’ clothes. Baby shower cakes also come in a variety of colors and themes depending on the gender of the baby.

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RA: The Dice Game

The original Ra game was such a hit that the company decided to create RA: The Dice Game. In order to play this game, players try to score by collecting Pharaohs, floods, monuments, and even civilizations. They roll the dice and are allowed to choose which dice they want to keep and which ones they want to re-roll. As with the original Ra, disasters can happen at any times and can completely ruin a player’s strategy.

This game is absolutely wonderful for anyone who enjoyed the original Ra game and should probably only be used by families who have children who are ten and older, as the strategy can get a bit confusing at times if you’re not paying close attention to what is going on. It’s also a wonderful game for the entire family because it brings history into the house. The game spans 1500 years of history, from pharaohs whose names you may know, to obscure ones that you’d never heard about until you began playing the game. We believe this to be a great historical game for any household that has members in it who enjoy history and who also want to conquer an entire land based solely on their wits!

Fast Flowing Forest Fellers

With a hilarious name, Fast Flowing Forest Fellers by Rio Grande Games brings a little bit of silliness to the world of family strategy games. This game is all about trying to get ahead in the lumberjack world. Each player controls a small group of lumberjacks whose job it is to make sure that their load of lumber makes it to the finish line first. Every player gets to control up to three lumberjacks – the twist of the game is that they only get a handful of cards, and their cards have to work for all of the lumberjacks, making it necessary to plan your moves ahead of time.

What’s great about this game isn’t just that it’s perfect for children 8 or older, but that there are six double-sided game boards that are included in the box, which means that you can play dozens of different races down the river, making the game different every time you play. Let’s face it: we’ve all wanted to be a lumberjack getting their load down the river at some point in time or another, haven’t we? Okay, maybe not, but Fast Flowing Forest Fellers makes the idea of traveling down a river to deliver lumber an exciting prospect.

The 3 Commandments

We’ve all heard of the 10 commandments, but The 3 Commandments? It’s true! There are three commandments – at least in this game. The 3 Commandments is a very unique game. The game starts when one player becomes the High Priestess, and in this game, the High Priestess is the one who is in charge. The High Priestess is supposed to watch all of the other players while they participate in a religious ceremony. At the beginning of play, the High Priestess draws four cards that all have rules on them. He or she designates two rules as good, and one rule as bad. Then, during game play, the priestess keeps track of which player gets points for doing something that was on the card, and which ones lose points.

The fun thing about this game is that the cards don’t only give points for moving things on the board, but even for doing things such as taking a drink or smiling at the High Priestess during play, allowing players to have to pay close attention to what is getting the attention of the game’s ruler! This is a great game for families who enjoy games that have one person in charge and the rest trying to figure out what they’re doing!

Bonnie and Clyde

With Bonnie and Clyde, Rio Grande Games has taken Rummy, as well as the story of the notorious outlaws, to a whole new level. Bonnie and Clyde is a strategy game that’s all about earning points using your cards, much in the same way that you would earn points in a Rummy game. But this game is a bit different. Players are trying to make melds, which is three or more of a kind, using evidence cards that are the same color in order to score points. There are, however, Gavel cards, and these are what takes this game from being a simple card game to being one of strategy.

Card games are great for family members of all ages, but we found that this one is best understood by children who are at least over the age of eight, as there is definitely some strategy necessary in order to gain points in the game. It’s a quick play, taking under an hour to complete, and because two to four players can play at a time, it’s a great addition to any family game night. While we do wish that there were a bit more mystery in the game, it’s definitely a solid card game.

Burger Joint

Who doesn’t love a burger and fries? Rio Grande Games has taken the love for burgers and fries and has created a strategic game that is all about earning victory points through owning restaurants. Players start by owning one basic and two advanced restaurants on their own board, which is known as a development board. One player owns a chain of burger joints, while the other owns a chain of pizza joints. Players need to share their available resources but while the player needs to have all of the resources they can get, both players need different things, making it necessary to use your head to figure out what you need and what you can get from the other player.

Being only a two player game takes this down a notch in our eyes, as most families have more than two members in it, and it’s really only a game for children who are over twelve. Because, however, it takes only about a half an hour to play, it is definitely possible for two players to play for awhile and then to switch off to two more. This is a very unique game that is actually much more difficult to win than it first seems.

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Unlike other toys that seem specifically built for only one kid, it is exactly the opposite—it was designed with multiple children in mind.  Where other wagons have room for one child to get a ride, or two at most, this particular toy has the capacity to carry as many as five kids all at the same time.  That’s because this particular wagon is built of modular “cars” that can be coupled or uncoupled.  This innovation makes it easy to see why this is one of the most popular toys for families who have multiple kids to entertain.  This way, instead of needing one parent to pull each child, a single mom or dad can give a ride to all their kids all at once.

The secret to the success of the Step2 Choo Choo Wagon is modular packaging.  The actual wagon itself comes with two cars.  Then, parents can choose to purchase other Choo Choo Cars to add to their train as they need.  This way they can customize the toy, and purchase only as much wagon as they really need, while still guaranteeing that there’s plenty of room.  There’s even an extra storage car that you can purchase to help you tote along all the things you and your train might need.  This product makes trips to the park and other similar places fun and even easy, which make this one of the best toys 2010.

It should be noted though that each car has an intended weight limit of 50 pounds.  While this might not seem like much, this means that if you have a full train connected, you could have more than 250 pounds to pull around.  While this may seem like quite a lot, those who are used to dealing with having that many children to move around will probably still find that pulling the cart is by far the easiest and most fun way to move their family around.  All in all, this doesn’t detract this from being one of the top toys 2010, but it is worth noting.

In general though, we found that kids loved taking a ride on the Step2 Choo Choo Wagon, which in the end really makes this one of the greatest toys for this situation.  If you’ve got a large family to move and entertain, you’ll no doubt be glad to find out how much they enjoy riding on their very own choo choo train, no matter where they end up going.

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We want our children to learn to speak and communicate.  We want them to become independent thinkers.  We also want them, someday, to stand on their own.  Well, believe it or not, these are some of the key factors to explain why some children argue with their parents.  According to the Department of Families, “arguments between brothers and sisters are one of the ways that children learn to respect other people’s belongings and feelings.”  Children are just like adults.  We like to present our ideas and sometimes argue to express our opinions or points of view.  Children, however, are just beginning to learn how to argue without being disrespectful.  Below are some pointers to help parents teach their child how to share their thoughts without offending others.

• Do not argue with your child.  It’s that’s simple.  An argument can only occur if you let one occur.

• Many arguments can be avoided when you give the child an option.  For example: “You can either empty the dishwasher or take out the trash.”

• Treat your child and yourself with respect.  Be objective when you speak and try to use fewer words.  For example: “I need your help.  Your job is to pick up your toys.  Please begin now.”  Avoid statements or questions like: “Can you” or “Do you want to pick up your toys now.”

• Teach your child the difference between debate and arguments.  Debates allow two people to share their points of view without offending others and leaving one person a winner and another a loser.  Arguments end with a winner and a loser.   Teach your child what points of view or opinions are debatable in your home.  If your child says, “Mom, I’m tired of doing dishes.”  The parent can respond by saying, “That’s fine.  It’s a good time to change chores.  You may pick between feeding the dog or dusting this week.”

• Use simple body and facial language instead of words.  Simple body and facial language includes: Looking at your child and show the face of patience.  Your face should show that you are not angry, but you are also not amused.

• Sit down with your child and let the child know the negative consequences that they will receive if they argue with a parent.  Set the consequence ahead of time and stick to the consequence.  It’s appropriate to let children know that you do not want an argument as a warning before providing the consequence.  Remember the first example provided above.

• You may provide incentives.  However, do not over use this strategy or you will be teaching the child that rewards come after each request.  “You may play with your friends when you are done doing the dishes.”

• Encourage and teach your child to ask for permission. This will prevent many arguments.

• Prepare yourself for the fact that your child will be making more requests that may lead to future arguments.  To find out if your child’s request is normal for his or her age group, ask a teacher, youth group leader, coach or other adults who have many years of experience working with children to find out if their request is normal.

• Let your child know that making a request should be done in private or at home.  Some parents, for example, tell their child that if they ask to have a friend sleep over in front of the friend that their request will automatically be denied.

Note: Children who have chronic or ongoing behavioral problems and arguments that lead to anger, violence or other fear inducing tactics may need to be assessed by a trained professional.  Usually these behaviors should be diagnosed by a psychiatrist or other medical professionals. You may also obtain assistance from a school psychologist who may provide some insights and resource information.

Scott Wardell is a contributing blogger for Empowering Parents. Scott is also the creator of Scottcounseling.com.

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Have you made parenting mistakes you’d like to correct? And what are you going to do differently starting now? Empowering Parents will be giving away autographed copies of James Lehmans’ groundbreaking new book, Transform Your Problem Child to 10 lucky winners of our first EP contest of 2010.

Just tell us a parenting mistake you’ve made with your child, and an effective technique you’ve started doing (or are planning to start). Send all submissions, 500 words maximum, to editor@empoweringparents.com. Your entries will be read by the EP staff and a qualified Parental Support Line advisor.

The deadline for our contest is midnight, January 18, 2010 and winners will be announced in the January 26, 2010 issue of EP.

P.S. All winning entries will be published in the Empowering Parents blog! (Please note that by submitting your entry, you are agreeing to allow us to publish your submission in Empowering Parents.)

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Dear PSL:

My wife and I have very different ideas about parenting. While we try not to fight in front of the kids, it really causes a lot of battles between us. I think a lot of it comes from differences in our upbringing; she didn’t have to follow any rules when she was a kid. I want our children to understand that rules are important; I want them to understand accountability and integrity. I’m always talking to them about these issues – it seems like every day, one of them does something that brings it up. My wife, on the other hand, refuses to follow through with consequences, and she tells me to “lighten up” on the kids. As I said, we try not to argue in front of them, but it’s hard when I tell our kids to stop doing something, and right away, she tells them what they’re doing is no big deal. Is it any surprise who the kids listen to? How can I get my wife to understand that what I’m trying to teach the kids is important?

–Frustrated Dad in PA

Dear Frustrated Dad:

We hear from a lot of parents who have a different parenting style than their partner or their ex. In a way, it’s amazing that two people with very different backgrounds and perspectives can find any common ground at all! And when you are talking about parenting, emotions can certainly run very high. It can be difficult to get children to follow basic household rules when one parent gives a consequence and the other “undoes” it, or tells the kids that they don’t have to listen. It can make you feel like you’re fighting the battle from all sides. In a sense, both of you are right: kids need to be held accountable for their actions, and, focusing on every single behavior can be overwhelming, and can even backfire: kids will tune you right out! The good news is, you and your wife can find a way to work together, even if you have different ideas.

I appreciate that you try not to argue or discuss your parenting differences in front of the children.  It is difficult to teach your child to follow one set of rules when he sees those rules up for debate within your own family.  Some kids will also learn to play one parent against the other when they know the parents disagree. It’s important to present a united front to your children when it comes to basic household rules. If you find it difficult to remain calm in front of the kids, try to give yourself an “out”: if you disagree with something your partner is doing, you might say “I’d like to talk about this together before we give our daughter our decision.”

Once you are able to discuss the situation away from the kids, it’s tempting to get into an argument about why your way is better than your spouse’s way – that’s understandable, but unlikely to help solve the issue. I bet you and your partner have argued these points a million times, and so far, no one has “won.” Rather than argue about whose style is right and whose is wrong, you might see if you can find a place of agreement. You may be surprised to find that you do actually have places you agree! It may take awhile, but there is always a place of agreement, especially when you focus on specific behaviors rather than broad concepts. For example: while you might argue about whether sharing should be mandatory because it promotes goodwill toward others, both of you likely agree that the kids should not take or destroy other peoples’ things, and if they borrow an item, they need to return it in good shape. That means there would be a rule in your home that no one takes or destroys something that belongs to another, and if they break something, they are responsible for fixing or replacing it. Decide together what the consequences will be if the kids break those rules. If one of you feels you cannot follow through with the consequences, maybe you can agree to at least not “undo” the consequences the other parent enforces, and agree to not argue about your differences in front of the kids.
 
As far as feeling like you are constantly talking about broad issues like accountability and integrity, remember that kids’ brains function far more concretely than adult brains. So, while having family discussions about abstract terms like responsibility and integrity are important, those discussions rarely result in concrete changes in behavior – the kids may understand it while you’re talking, but fail to put the principles into action later! You are far more likely to see changes when you focus on a couple of behaviors at a time, working with your kids to solve their problems in more appropriate ways. I don’t mean to suggest that these discussions aren’t important – they are. Family discussions – especially when they involve respectful disagreement – help to develop beliefs about the world and how we care for ourselves and others. It is in these discussions that you and your partner can role model how to voice your opinion without cutting down or degrading an opposing opinion. Just remember that discussions like these, in and of themselves, do not tend to lead to changes in behavior. For that, you and your partner need to find that place of agreement, and follow through with what you’ve planned.

I want to clarify that the suggestions given above apply to simple differences in parenting. If you feel that your partner is abusive – verbally, physically, or emotionally to you or your children, please seek out professional resources and support in your local area. If you are trying to teach your children to act appropriately and respectfully, but your partner calls the children names or threatens violence, none of your rules and consequences are likely to be effective: kids watch what you do, not what you say. And remember, there is no excuse for abuse – from anyone in your family. Please contact your local community mental health center or parenting network for support. If you find yourself unable to control your own temper, you might also check out James’ article, Temper, Temper: Keeping Your Cool When Kids Push Your Buttons. 

For more on parenting differences, you might check out: Differences in Parenting? How Your Child May Be Using it Against You,  and James’ new program, Two Parents, One Plan.

Good luck, and please keep in touch and let us know how it goes!

–Megan

Megan Devine is a writer and Parental Support Line Advisor for the Total Transformation Program.

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2009 saw controversy and more controversy when it came to parenting, from reality T.V. scandals like Balloon Boy, the Gosselins and Octomom to parents’ worries about Sexting, texting and kids’ online activities in general. We’re also glad to see that our resident ADHD/ADD expert Dr. Bob Myers’ insightful advice is again a big hit with our readers, as are Dr. Joan’s “tell-it-like-it-is” blog posts filled with useful tips and encouragement. Many of our Parent Bloggers are also in the top ten this year, and we’d like to take this opportunity to thank them once again for all their hard work—we’re both proud and humbled to have such talented and dedicated parents blogging for us.

We hope you’ll enjoy this virtual trip down memory lane as you read about the issues that grabbed EP readers most in 2009. Thanks again for reading, and as always, please let us know what’s on your mind—and what you’d like to see us cover next!

–Elisabeth Wilkins, EP Editor

P.S. Remember, we’re all in this together. Every comment you leave on EP truly has the potential to touch or help another parent out there. So thank you for reading–we’re grateful to have you here with us in our judgment-free parenting zone.

EP’s Top Ten Blog Posts of 2009

 10. Parenting Mistakes I Have Made (and Why Natural Consequences are the Key to Changing Your Child’s Behavior) by Kemuel Ronis, Parent Blogger

9. Octomom: 6 Was Not Enough by Elisabeth Wilkins, EP Editor

8. Parenting an ADHD/ADD Child: 10 Ways to Help Their Behavior Improve by Dr. Bob Myers

7. Sibling Fighting, Backtalk and Yelling–It Must be Summer by Dr. Joan Munson

6. Working Through the Total Transformation: One Mom Tries to Deal with Her Son’s Disrespect and Backtalk by Lola Howle, Parent Blogger

5. Is Your Child Sexting Nude Photos? Surprise! 1 in 5 Have Tried It by Elisabeth Wilkins, EP Editor

4. When Your Teen Says, “I’m Almost 18–You Can’t Tell Me What to Do!” by Megan Devine, Parental Support Line Advisor

3. How I Stood My Ground (Eventually) in the Face of My Daughter’s Negotiating by Parent Blogger Kathy Pride

2. How to Talk to the Demanding Child: 12 Tips to Use Right Away by Parent Blogger Scott Wardell

And our top post of 2009?

1. How to Help Kids with ADHD Stay on Track in School (and Improve Their Academic Performance!) by Dr. Bob Myers

Please let us know which posts and articles on EP resonated most with you–we’d love to hear your opinion!

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Anyone who grew up watching Little House on the Prairie remembers the show where the Ingalls children find a tin cup, a peppermint stick and a shiny penny under the tree in the cold log cabin in Minnesota. In flapping night dresses and sleep bonnets they dance merrily around the fire as Pa plays his fiddle. Laura and Mary don’t necessarily love the plain tin cups, but they feel special knowing the cups mean they don’t have to share anymore. The intrinsic value goes far beyond the cost of the tin.

Things have not changed all that much from those pioneer days.

No one is taking the wagon to town for midnight shopping, but every mother is keenly aware of the traditions that make the holiday special for children. We will work creatively, perhaps starting before the snow flies, to find the best deals and coordinate with Grandmas and relatives to get the gift under the tree that makes her child’s eyes sparkle. We give to let them know their wants are valid even if our child’s wants seem so trivial compared to an adult’s needs.

Most parents put every effort into making holiday wishes come true – if only for one morning – because we know that in the grand scheme of life, putting a special request under the tree is a lot easier than doing almost anything else for our children.
We cannot always protect them from illness and disease.

We cannot take away debilitating psychological or genetic challenges.

We cannot make other children accept them as they are, or fabricate a life-long friendship where there is none.

We cannot buy our way out of medical debt, sometimes we cannot pay the mortgage, and sometimes we have to move in with Uncle Ed.

We cannot hand over our confidence to our teenage daughters or grant passing grades to our hard working students.

We cannot guarantee safe passage through dangerous streets,  protect them from hateful words that they will hear or keep them safe from unpredictable circumstances.

But at the end of each year, parents listen closely to a child’s material requests and commit to memory each list of wishes written in crooked but hopeful handwriting. We are grateful for all the good things and hope that our efforts strike a bargain to keep things as good as they are, keenly aware that even if circumstances are bad, they can always be worse.
We creatively work to give our children good holiday memories, sometimes calling in favors, maybe working an extra job, trading our time for someone else’s talents, blatantly robbing Peter to pay Paul and making New Year’s resolutions all about balancing the checkbook and learning to simplify.

For now, we will live in the moment and try to buy some time for our children so they can remain innocent and unaware of the grown up stuff, all the unforeseen challenges that they will have to deal with all too soon.
Moms and Dads shelter them for a little while longer, taking seriously the job of protecting the wonder of the season, this granting of tangible wishes,  this material miracle-making, hoping to never be asked to put in a pretty box the things parents cannot procure in a midnight run to Walmart.

Annita Woz is the mother of three, writer and Parent Blogger for Empowering Parents.

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I read some wonderful research years ago (which I would credit if I could remember the author), that said parenting is so tough because you have to first create the idea in your child’s head that “Mommy and I are one” (sorry, child-rearing guys!), to give your child a sense of safety, and then, as the child matures, you create the idea in their heads that they are separate entities that must go out and create their own lives in the world and be masters of their own destinies. 

My husband Kemuel and I each had to be both a mom and dad to our kids, so we know first-hand that these are totally different mind-states to create in your kids’ heads.  Fortunately, this is a really age-related task, so you have years to move from “Mommy and I are one” to “I must kill my father to take my own place in the world” (with apologies to Oedipus!)  It’s a blend, and like mixing coffees or cocktails, sometimes you need more of one, and sometimes you need more of the other.

Specific things we’ve done in this area?  Well, when my daughter was young, after we finished our bedtime ritual of reading a story together and lying in bed while “A Child’s Gift of Lullabies” played (I can’t hear that CD without feeling I should find a flat surface to lie down on immediately), I would kiss her and say good night and leave the room.  If she came downstairs later, I would tell her, “The Mommy shop is closed.” She needed to know that I had other things to do when she went to bed. (Things like paying bills, doing household chores, and getting ready for work the next day.)  I really believe kids need to know that Mommies and Daddies are not endlessly available.  After a few repetitions, she got the message and gave it up. (Of course, this is barring true emergencies – but even along those lines, on a funnier note, when the kids were teenagers, we told them that when my husband and I were in our bedroom and the door was shut, they were NOT to knock unless a) the house was on fire, and b) they had already tried to put it out and couldn’t!  One of our children knocked on our door one night after it was closed, and when we asked, “Is the house on fire?” (it wasn’t), slunk away with her permission slip unsigned.  She got a great lesson in explaining to her teacher why she didn’t have the slip—and learned how to budget her time better to create the outcome she wanted (going on the trip).

WHAT DOES YOUR CHILD NEED NOW?  A) A GREATER SENSE OF CONNECTION, OR B) MORE ENCOURAGEMENT FOR INDEPENDENCE?

Linda Falcao is a mother, attorney, founder of the youth volunteer organization www.americaserves.net and parent blogger for EP. To read more about Linda and our other contributors, click here.

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